Continued problems

Last week I was anxious all week about the cats and the vet, which turned out as expected when I had to flip the bed against the wall at 7 in the morning to get to the cat who does not approve of being put in the carrier to go to the vet.

Saturday I had to take my car in for recall service, and wait for it to be fixed, and the dealer still has it because it has about $1500 worth of other stuff that needed to be fixed (suspension etc). I have a loaner car until tomorrow.

Work last week was a lot of "need it now" stuff as well, and things not working when they were both simple and should have worked. My anxiety levels are high from all three of these.

My sleep quality continues to be poor, and I continue to be exhausted. Saturday night my downstairs tenants had guests over, and they were loud until past midnight. Wouldn't have been so bad if I haven't had all the other things going on.

This morning I was nauseous. I slept right through the night, but only for seven hours as it took me a long time to fall asleep even after a Xanax. I need more sleep than that even when I feel fine. I almost called in sick, and the reason I went in was because there were some work issues from last week that really needed to get resolved. All that made today miserable. At least one of last week's work issues got resolved, which calmed me a bit, but most of the workday I was a complete mess.

I need to get through tomorrow, my two hour trip to the remote factory and then come back to get my car from the dealer. Last week as I was going on my drive for work at the factory I started having panic as I got to the tollways, there are few exits so it's a trapped feeling of not being able to turn around and come home whenever I want. Tomorrow I get to make that drive in the dealer loaner car, the loaner is nicer than my car, but it's not "my car", just like a hotel bed is not your bed, it may be nicer but it's not as comfortable.

Right now, if anything, I feel worse than I did six weeks/two months ago, and that's my normal low point for the year. I'm going to be in bed tonight before it's dark, haven't done that in quite some time.

Get through tomorrow, that's the goal.