Made it through

Getting to work was so hard. Twice I wanted to just turn around and go home. I had to park in the garage attached to my work because I was feeling that bad, and pay the extra $5 over my normal lot across the street. Once I got to my desk I felt a bit better. No energy and moved very slow all day, but got my work done. I napped for 20-30 minutes at lunch. Had too, was that tired. It helped me get through the rest of the day. Didn't eat a whole lot today, breakfast was a yogurt parfait, a lowfat muffin, and a banana spread through the morning. My lunch was just a sandwich, and a bowl of soup around 3, dinner was naan bread and hummus, and later an apple, some nuts and some healthy baked chips. That's not an unhealthily little amount of food, and what I ate was healthy stuff and not junk food.

I've been working hard the past two weeks on eating healthy and having little/no greasy/sugary stuff. Maybe I feel bad because my body is addicted to bad stuff :) break through and I'll hav a nicely healthy diet that's good for me. This past years efforts at healthier eating have resulted in around 12 kg of weight lost. More to go to get nice and healthy, I'm still over the doctor recommended weights, but I'm nearly back to what's been normal for me for the past 8-10 years.

I feel like...

... synonym for really bad. Exhausted, upset stomach/nausea (that happens when I don't get enough sleep), shoulder/ribs still awry. Managed 4 non restful fours in a row, plus one more. Task one: get self to work.

Sigh

I moved from the bed to a pullout couch to a papasan chair and back to my bed just now. I've had less than an hours sleep so far. Shoulder/rib problem is bothering me because I can't stop fidgeting it long enough for it to relax, despite the Alleve I took for it. I just want some relaxing sleep. Even if I get some for the rest of the night I'm going to feel bad in the morning. Telling myself to relax, but can't find a position that relaxes me and doesn't exacerbate the shoulder/rib issue. Posting this relaxes me a little since it takes my mind off what I feel while I'm describing what I feel. That sounds strange. I'll try to sleep now.

3 days of bad sleep

My sleep on Friday and Saturday night consisted on a series of approximately hour long naps. As a result I was very tired yesterday and today. Hopefully tonight is better. It doesn't seem tied to the work transfer, because I havnt been thinking about that. This same napping al night happened last Friday as well. When I was getting various tests for my my depression, I did have sleep tests, and I do not have any significant sleep apnea, so that's unlikely to be the reason. Maybe I'll try sleeping with my bedside lamp on. The light relaxes me. Even if it prevents me from getting really good sleep, which it does when I do that, it will be better than what I've had for the past three days.

I dreamt I was Batman

Only it was one of those stories where he loses badly. Maybe I wasn't "Batman". Couldn't get that brain wave out of my head and spent the whole night in that dream state. As a result I'm exhausted, my brains not working very well, and falling asleep. It's lunchtime, so I'm going to try to get some shuteye.

At least it's Friday. One more good thing is the weight I put on over the holidays has mostly come back off already, back within a kg of my intermediate goal.

New challenges on the way.

First, I didn't get to sleep until fairly late last night, so I didn't get enough sleep (for me). Had to work through lunch on something for a senior executive, and spent an hour late in the afternoon showing him things. That was stressful, as I had to perform at a high level while very tired.

Also, found out I'm being transferred to another facility to temporarily take over for an employee who is leaving the company. That's going to mean a big change in my routine, different and more stressful job functions, and new people and a new place to deal with. I'll also be the only person with my job function there, so won't have the camaraderie with co-workers I have now. It will be challenging from an anxiety perspective.

Finished the workday with the shoulder twitch I tend to do when I get too stressed.

Another 50 minutes

Monday was surprisingly ok. I did another 50 minutes worth just now. This time at a higher intensity tough, worked up a sweat. My eyes are kind of spinning a bit from following the ping pong ball.