Tired but have to do something = panic attack

I got through Friday without a panic attack. Watched a training video, then dial-in meeting, then lunch. After lunch I got on the phones and didn't have an attack.

Of note from last week, I have a lot of anticipatory anxiety about working with clients on the phone, what if I have a panic attack while trying to assist them. The problem is that is the main part of my job. I had a couple of days where I was super incredibly fatigued, like it was a tremendous struggle to stay awake while at work. After lunch it gets somewhat better. It's not low blood sugar though, I am snacking on bananas and things. My brain just feels overloaded and my senses overstimulated, the lunch hour lets it relax some. Then after work it gets better.

Every workday last week I needed to take a Xanax, my prescribed up to 2 a day on most days. Being short my two coworkers for my shift and having fill ins from other shifts that aren't trained on everything for my shift from Wednesday through Friday did not help, at all. During a no panic time, that would be no big deal.

Friday night I slept well and yesterday (Saturday) I was ok enough to get things like my laundry and groceries done (thank goodness for grocery delivery service), without needing to take a Xanax or a CBD gummy. Sat out on the front porch in the sun and let the warmth sink in for a while.

Last night I didn't sleep well and got panicky twice today, The first time I lay down for awhile, I figured I would nap but I didn't fall asleep. Later I got panicky enough to take half a Xanax, I was very tired. Tonight I just had a CBD gummy, which while hopefully give me a good night's sleep. Work doesn't start for another 16-1/2 hours. If I felt I could sleep until I had to get up for work, but then I'd be fully rested and fine at work, I'd take that.

In addition to the panic I am feeling depressed, or is that because of the panic. Regardless, I am currently feeling unmotivated and not fulfilled by what I am doing at work. Previously I was generally happy with the work. Right now I just wish I could retire or something, though financially I can't do that.