Funny that

Monday I was actually awake the whole day once I got going in the morning. Wasn't even tired in the evening, just went to bed because it was time. Had some stressful dreams and was very tired yesterday. Got what I thought was a good nights rest but still half asleep at 9am. If it was the weekend or holiday I'd climb back into bed and have a nap.

All documents are in for the home refinance except for some I'm waiting to receive from the IRS. Still waiting to hear on the job, boss had said he'd schedule time with me this week but hasn't yet. My boss isn't based out of the same office as I am so I only see him once or twice a week anyway, so I don't think that's an especially bad sign, and in all likelihood id keep the contract position anyway since it's a different position and still a needed one.

Too tired to sleep

I was totally exhausted yesterday. Tried to work my way through it but it wound up being overwhelming by the evening. I went to bed at 8:30, and was unable to fall asleep until after 10. Woke up around 2am, unable to fall back asleep, it's nearly 3:30. Sleep wasn't restful either. Think my body is starting to relax a bit now and will get a couple of hours. Hope that's going to be enough.

Current stress sources:
Waiting to hear on job interview.
Trying to refinance house to remove ex spouse from title.
Holiday trip to see family booked, concern because last time I saw family I had large anxiety attack, concerned it will happen again. Would rather not go at all, travel is stressful.
Think I broke something at work and have been dreading going in today and being unable to fix it. Will look bad with the job interview results there.

Overdid the exercise

I drew an opponent significantly better than me yesterday. My 40 minutes of exercise left me pretty beat up. Still tired this morning, so we'll see how today goes. I didn't get great sleep Saturday night or last night. Last night I couldn't fall asleep until 10:30 or so, woke up at 1:30 unrefreshed, woke up to the alarm from a heavy sleep and wanted to stay in bed. I did good Friday night though. Friday afternoon was stressful at work.

Edit: 2pm. Was working with someone and almost had a vertigo. Had to step away for a minute. Still tired like this morning. I seem to get it more when I'm very tired, maybe my body is having microsleep. I should drive more, never feel so tired when driving. Didn't nap over lunch, wanted to. Not feeling productive because of the vertigo. I feel like the vertigo and tiredness/depresion hold me back from being all I could be, my memory stinks for example, poor short term memory is one common effect of depression. At least work is slower this week with the holiday. I can't wait for four straight days off.

Still no word on the job. If I'm lucky they'll hire me and have me do what I'm already doing. That would be the best situation for me.

Oh yeah, one bit of positive news, lost another two pounds in the past two weeks. That makes 24 since around end of March. Slow and steady, eating generally right and the amount of excercise I get is producing results. I'm now back within 10 of my long term typical weight. I could use another 20 or so past that for health, but am determined to not think about the end goal because that's fairly far off, maybe a year or so at my current rate.

Bleh

Monday I felt ok. Yesterday not so bad even though I wound down at the end of the workday. Last night I wound up in a funny position for my shoulder while sleeping, and so woke up with my ribs hurting. Couldn't fall back asleep for about an hour, and did not sleep well. I need to go in to work early to get some things done, and I'm wondering if I'll get called in to my boss's office to find out the results of my interview (that's stressful one way or the other, I hate meetings where I'm the focus).

Next week is Thanksgiving. I'm definitely looking forward to having 4 straight days off. Haven't had that since I started working.

Tired today

Got my 40 minutes of ping pong, though I didn't especially feel like it. Tired. I was better Friday and yesterday. My bad shoulder is making all the bones in my chest creak, a feeling that's no good for my anxiety. I'm consistently getting 40 minutes of ping pong in. Last year at this time 20 minutes was a lot.

slept like a rock

Played 40-45 minutes of ping pong last night and slept like a rock, not long enough though, in bed around 9:30. Very tired today, napped at lunch and really fought it. I've been taking the vitamin D every day. Since the first day I took it aligned with my best day in at least a month I was thinking 'wow, magic!", but apparently not. First snow of the year is supposed to be tomorrow.

Interview today

I already work there as a contractor, so there's a fair chance the decision's already been made. Still nervous. Like most everyone, I get nervous with interviews.

I don't know why, but I was pretty good yesterday. Only getting somewhat tired towards the end of the workday. Even raked leaves when I got home. The front yard is done for the year, maybe another bag or two of leaves still on a tree in the back.

No restful sleep last night

I was so tired I couldn't fall asleep, and when I did it want restful. Woke up around 3 and didn't get back to sleep until around 5. Only between 5 and the 6:30 alarm was I relaxed. Work is front loaded today, need to make it to lunch. Took my first vitamin d supplement of this fall.

End of daylight savings

Have to work extra hard to make sure I'm getting enough light.

Saturday I raked the leaves in the yard for 20 minutes. Probably one more raking will be needed since there are still some on one backyard tree. Tired the whole day Saturday, that seems to be normal recently. I guess my body is recovering from the week.

Sunday I felt more energetic. Got in 40 minutes or so of ping pong, with someone new to the club so not playing hard. The chai I had Sunday may have helped. Didn't fall into bed exhausted like normal.

Only problem was I woke up 4-5 times overnight. And I had to move stuff around at work for about 40 minutes first thing at work. Now I'm totally exhausted again and it's 9am. I just tell myself the excercise helps.

Bought some multi-vitamins last week, to make sure I'm getting enough. I've been consistently taking them, but if the B and D are helping I havnt noticed yet. Last year I tried high potency B and D. Didn't really notice anything with them, maybe I'll try again.

Was doing ok until about 12:30. It's now 3pm, and it's a huge effort to stay awake. At least I can probably leave at 4:30 thanks to daylight savings. Hopefully it's the poor sleep or caffeine from this mornings cup of chai wearing off.

cats played all night

I got 40 minutes of good ping pong in, lots of moving my rear around. Good for me though it normally leaves me tired the next day. I could deal with that if my cats didn't roughhouse all night long, constantly waking me up, bad. It's going to be a long day. I just got out of bed and can feel the beginnings of my body having an anxiety attack to keep itself awake.

Around 10am the anxiety calmed down. Was still very tired. Napped during my lunch hour. By abour 3:30 I was in zombie mode with nothing left in the tank. Took a break for 10 minutes or so and got some energy back, enough to get through the rest of the day. It was tough. Tomorrow is Friday.

Tired

Yesterday I thought I did better than I have for a few weeks. Not nearly so exhausted as I've been. I may have pushed it too much, staying up until 9:30 working on something for my hobby project and not being able to figure out abhor wasn't working. Quite tired today. Weather was nice for a November day where I live, I got out and sat in the sun at lunch with only a sweater. still much better than a week or two ago, but also not where I want to be. Yesterday wasn't great, but it was a lot more bearable.