near panic attack

An exercise to leave me calm and ready to sleep last night instead left me heading for a panic attack and having to fight it off and go to sleep with the radio on. I managed to avoid the panic attack by telling myself it was just an attack instead of something else. Of course it's not really that simple since I'm telling myself that for 30-45 minutes, or more, with the radio on to try distracting me as well while I lie in bed trying to get to sleep.

Spending most of the night with the radio on is not good for my quality of sleep. I slept in until nine this morning, we'll see how I am today.

edit: Let this post sit for a while before publishing. It's not even 90 minutes after getting out of bed and I feel like I will just fall asleep. I have a hard time letting myself just take a nap, which contributes to anxiety as my adrenaline goes to try to keep me awake until a proper bedtime.

Tenants are in, I'm busy

Tenants moved in yesterday. The incoming rent is going to help with the bills. I think I've already spent their first rent payment getting house maintenance completed. They scrubbed the entire apartment when they moved in, so it looks like they are going to be clean and take good care of the place.

I've been getting things organized for the tenants, scheduling with handymen, being at the place while the chimney sweeps did their thing etc. Tomorrow I have another trip to the car mechanic for new brake pads and tires (they hadn't been replaced in about 100,000 km, it was obvious even to me it was time), after my several hours trip after work for the 200,000 km service two weeks ago. Also have to take the cats in to the vet for teeth cleaning and shots. It's been a lot of things that needed to be taken care of. I've been tired, but I've gotten them all done so far.

This coming week is Thanksgiving here in the US, so I have Thursday and Friday off.

Should have napped

Should have napped yesterday, instead my body wired itself staying awake and I couldn't fall asleep. Pre-panic attack type feeling. We had a big windstorm overnight, so I kept waking up from that as well. This morning I've still got that feeling, couldn't really get back to sleep so just got up. I was hoping to have a good tired feeling from the weekend's housework. Instead my shoulder/ribs are sore. That made it harder to relax and sleep last night as well. I should be better later this morning I think, once the Monday work routine has started. I could really use a hug from my ex-wife. I miss her terribly. She's better off without me though, so I can't ever tell her that even though we write back and forth.

Five lawn bags

The tenants are here cleaning the downstairs. I had cleaned it, but they wanted it really clean I guess. Since the weather was nice, I raked leaves and picked up small branches knocked down by the big storm last week before it goes back to cold weather. Also, it gives a good impression to the tenants to see me doing chores. Hurricane for New York, big windstorm for us. Five lawn bags worth. After yesterday, and waking up maybe 6-7 times last night, exhausted. Don't know why I woke up so much. I just went right back to sleep each time. I was gradually sleeping longer as the night went on. I think I got 2-3 hours in a row at the end. Not gasping for air from apnea, not hungry/thirsty. Just wake up, go "oh, I'm awake", and go back to sleep. Too I'd feel more positive about my activity level of yesterday and today if I wasn't as tired as I am. If I take a nap now though (4pm), I will probably not be able to get to bed tonight.

miniblinds

I installed 20 pairs of miniblinds today (slightly exaggerated, two last night and 18 this morning). I took two breaks, but still all are up and everything is cleaned up in the downstairs apartment. I can hardly believe I did that. That's the most physical work I've done in a long time. Whew.

Tired

I woke up an hour early yesterday and today. Was feeling it yesterday, really bad today. 8:30 in the morning and I could really use a nap, have been waking up before 6. Not sure if it's the coming winter or the fact the time change roll back was this past weekend. The previous post was supposed to be two days ago, but this blogging platform is terrible for mobile booting from my phone, it never published. I have to get started on getting things fixed for the downstairs tenants, relaxed last night.

New new tenant

The tenant I had ready to move in, application approved and all, backed out before signing a lease. So I had to look for a new tenant again. Had two good prospects, one ultimately backed out but the other signed a lease yesterday. Young couple who brought her parents to the signing to get the parental seal of approval before signing. I walked them through and gave them my normal pitch and answered their questions. There's going to be some minor things they want taken care of, mini-blind repair, a missing bit of grout, etc. Was tired from the time change and then taking care of the lease signing ran until 7pm. Made it through, but really tired after. Took a nice hot shower to celebrate. Tonigh I have to take my car in for a scheduled service. They estimated about 2 1/2 hours. Hopefully quicker since I think they may not be busy due to the election. Not going to be fun waiting, I'm already tired. I'm going to grab some hot dogs from a hot dog place I like on the way to treat myself. I haven't been out for hot dogs in a year or so. Tomorrow I have to start addressing the new tenants list of things. So I'll be busy for a while. Hopefully not tired like yesterday/today. I had been sleeping pretty well and feeling pretty well up to the time change.