five days this week

I did my walking to the end of the street today, which makes it five times this week I've done it. Good for me. My bad should is hurting, and doing the thing where the moving ribs irritate the sternum, so I just took some Alleve.

Tired today, I've been waking up earlier the past few days. Yesterday I went out to breakfast at a pancake place. Sometime in the middle of the night my brain started getting that idea, and it continued through the night. I did go for pancakes, but I was seated at a regular table with the type of chair I'm not comfortable in, so I was constantly fidgeting. A comment from my server made me think he noticed my constant fidgeting. I got through it though and ate my pancakes. Wasn't anxious driving there, but was while I was there.

Sometimes I think one reason for my being tired regularly is that my brain doesn't fully sleep. As I said, my brain was making plans for the morning through the night. These weren't dreaming plans, I was slightly awake, enough to know I was mostly asleep but my brain was running some.

Didn't get the job

I heard back about the interview, didn't get it. I spent a night or two overthinking it, but decided I needed to stop thinking about that as overthinking is not good for anxiety/depression. So I tried thinking that I didn't get it because something better for me will come along. I had a phone screen for another job, nothing on that yet. And another phone screen where the job was going to involve lots of travel nationwide, so I had to decline that as there's no way I could have done that. Applied for 8-10 other jobs and haven't yet heard on them. One is exactly what I do, and at the place I interviewed back in March that is basically down the street from me. Hope something good happens on the job front soon.

On the walking front I've been walking to the end of the street pretty much every day. There's pushing needed to get myself back to the house still, so not ready to walk farther yet.

Missed out

I had an interview two weeks ago that I thought went well. Did not have much panic (I had a Xanax before), and it was a job I felt I would be able to do, single location, not too far from my home. Found out this week I didn't get the job though. Disappointed about that. I did a phone screen interview for another position Tuesday, and have another one with a third company Friday.

My days are pretty boring, I am conserving money due to the unemployment ruling that I should have stayed in that job and declining me. My parents have sent some money to tide things over. I want to work again soon so I don't have to take money from them.

Due to some extremely hot weather, I skipped out a few days in a row of walking. I made sure to get back to it though even though I don't generally feel like it. I'm going on walks to the end of the street, and still having panic type thoughts on the walk there. Still, I've done it the past three days.